There was a daycare located right on a highway where the automobiles travelled over 60 miles an hour.  The kids would go outside to play, but they would all huddle very close to the building.  They were too afraid to run and play freely.  One day, the keepers of the daycare decided to put up a tall fence around the yard.  After that, the kids expanded their play area and began to run about more freely and happily.

Setting reasonable boundaries on our children’s behavior, and sticking to them, can make them feel safer in this often times confusing and scary world.  Children thrive when they know what is expected of them and where the limits are.  With parental guidance, children can be thought how to make positive choices for themselves, which in turn builds confidence.

It hurts our children when we make excuses for their negative behavior.  Often I have heard parents say, “Oh, he is only three,” while the child is clearly suffering from his own angry temper.  We do well for our children to guide them into better actions and responses, and they can learn the joy of making a good choice instead of a painful one.

I knew a little boy who would yell “NO!” and turn his head away with an angry face when an adult tried to speak to him or offer him something.  Clearly he was feeling very shy, and there is nothing wrong with that.  However, while the parents laughed about it and made excuses for him, he stayed looking terribly miserable.  He could be so much happier if he learned to nicely say “no thank you.”

We forget that our children are hurting and unhappy when they choose to whine, hit, throw temper tantrums, pout, refuse to share, say mean things, argue, etc.  They are being held hostage by painful emotions, and children do not like the way it makes them behave, but they don’t know a better way.  Negative emotions are like the highway that prevents them from the freedom and joy of positive choices.

Over the next few days we’ll discover some positive and practical ways to set boundaries for our children that will help them feel safe and confident.

For a short article about how children prefer consistent and secure environments read: What Children Can Teach Their Parents, from Stepcase Lifehack.

Children: Happier With Boundaries - Part [1] [2] [3] [4]

Here’s a thought question; How do you benefit from boundaries? Do you see how your child could thrive in dependable and protected conditions?